I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
