Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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