I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
