his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
