If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
