He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
