new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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