Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
