she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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