And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A+ Viking dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
