did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
