I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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