"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is wine microwaveable?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
