Kiss
Puke
they need to just BURY HIM!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
