I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
