Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We are two peas in an std pod
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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