i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
