These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
