I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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