i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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