is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
