yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Damn victory sex feels great
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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