Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
