You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
