google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
