i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
