I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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