mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
