Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
