Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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