he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm both gender and math confused
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
