i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
