Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
