Your face is a jimmy john
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
