2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
