so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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