8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
