Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
