I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
two words...techno handjob
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
