So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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