i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
