A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
