but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You are the jesus of drinking
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
