I look better un-naked...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
