I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
