My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
