In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
