I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
