Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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