guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im having a threesome with these popsicles
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
