Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
