im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
